What is body acceptance and why do we resist it?
What is body acceptance?
- Body acceptance is a practice of embracing your body as it is i.e. without judgment or criticism of its appearance or functioning.
- It can sound like, “my body is ok” or “my body gets me through life”.
- It can feel peaceful, contented, trusting, forgiving or neutral to be in your body
- It can involve setting realistic health goals or avoiding negative self talk
Do I need to be positive about my body to accept my body?
- In short, no, you don’t!
- Body positivity can sound like: “My body is beautiful; all bodies are beautiful”
- Many women struggle to hold this positive sentiment about their body because they simply don’t believe it, so it feels inauthentic.
- But not having positive feelings about your body doesn’t have to get in the way of accepting or respecting your body.
- For instance, you mightn’t like your tummy rolls but you can appreciate your tummy’s function of digesting the foods you enjoy and get energy from.
- Some people might hear this and think, “appreciating my digestive system has nothing to do with disliking my tummy!”, And whilst this can ring true, there are still benefits of appreciating body functions that are connected to body parts you dislike (I’ll cover this in another blog).
Why do we resist body acceptance?
- On the surface, we can get our rational minds around the concept of body acceptance fairly easily as we can see how it could be a positive thing, but getting our emotional minds around body acceptance is where resistance tends to arise.
- It’s not because we don’t want to feel at peace in our bodies (we really do!) but it’s because we often hold unhelpful misconceptions about body acceptance at deeper levels of consciousness.
- These misconceptions can kickstart our threat-response system (i.e. our “fight or flight” response), which signals that body acceptance isn’t safe or could be a threat to survival! Which of course it isn’t, but the unfamiliarity with it, coupled with misguided beliefs and social pressures to conform, can create a perfect story of resistance.
- We can start to work through our emotional resistance to body acceptance by identifying what our misconceptions about body acceptance are and develop more balanced perspectives.

Here are four common misconceptions that sustain resistance to body acceptance:
Now that you have a better understanding of body acceptance, consider whether you hold any of the misconceptions below, and how they might be affecting you.
"Accepting my body means that I'm settling for how I look now"
Why we have this misconception?
- We conflate acceptance with resignation, quitting or even complacency.
- The psychological benefits of acceptance have been long observed in faith-based practices and have a strong evidence base in applied behaviour therapies such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Unfortunately, these benefits aren’t broadly acknowledged and social narratives tend to privilege the value of changing, controlling or resisting our bodies.
- This can generate fear that body acceptance will lead to diminished motivation to improve oneself or prolong the discomfort of tolerating body dissatisfaction.
What is a more balanced perspective?
- Acceptance is a powerful way of alleviating suffering when our attempts to directly change our body brings about disproportionate distress or impairment in our lives. It can be the difference between “oh, here we go again!” and “this isn’t working for me”.
- Resignation looks and feels very different to acceptance; resignation can feel disempowering or hopeless, whereas acceptance can feel courageous and hopeful.
- Our world puts direct change on a pedestal as we can see it, flaunt it, or measure it easily. Acceptance is attitudinal change that occurs on the inside so it isn’t as easily observed or flaunted, but its value can lie in its modesty.
"How can I accept my body all the time?"
Why we have this misconception?
- Many of us have a tendency to think in “all-or-nothing” ways, meaning that something has to be either one way or another, not somewhere in the middle. This type of thinking can arise from our desire to avoid uncertainty because then we could get things wrong or have others point out our inconsistencies, all of which feel uncomfortable.
- So with body acceptance, the misconception may be that we need to be wholly accepting of our bodies, at all times. This can be a daunting expectation and dissuade people from approaching acceptance.
- It may also exist because of the doubt that it could be possible (or permissible) to accept your body all the time! The idea of accepting your body unconditionally, in any state, is so unfamiliar that it’s bewildering.
What is a more balanced perspective?
- You don’t have to accept your body all the time; but being neutral about it (e.g. my body is a vehicle for life) can help to offset negative feelings about it.
- When you first make a heart-based decision to embrace body acceptance, you may only have brief, fleeting moments of it and resistance may still be quite present. You may find that in certain situations, it may be easier to accept your body and in other situations, it may feel more of a struggle. These fluctuations are normal and can also reduce in frequency and intensity over time.
- Body acceptance however is a journey as each body change that occurs over your lifetime will bring about a new challenge. And every time you take on a new challenge, you are strengthening an important muscle for body image healing.
"Only people who are thin or attractive are in a position to accept their body"
Why we have this misconception?
- It stems from a sense that body acceptance is conditional for those who society say are “deserving” of it. That is, if you meet society’s body ideals but are struggling to see it, well, you don’t have to worry about that anymore, you can just accept your body as it is.
- This type of thinking is harmful for both camps. Women who struggle with body image in a thin/ conventionally attractive body can feel grossly invalidated by beliefs that body acceptance is easier for them. And women who struggle with body image in a bigger or less conventionally attractive body, end up gaslighting themselves into believing that body acceptance isn’t meant for them.
- This misconception can also subconsciously give you a reason not to accept your body so that you can continue familiar methods of body control, such as dieting, that feel safe and predictable.
What is a more balanced perspective?
- ANYONE is in a position to accept their bodies; there are no rules to say who can or who can’t accept their body. The prolific oversharing of this socio-cultural misconception can make you feel that this misconception is true, but it isn’t hard to find numerous examples of women who do not fit conventional body standards who accept their bodies whole heartedly.
- You are keeping yourself imprisoned
"Everyone else is so focussed on their fitness, weight and beauty goals, so I'll end up falling behind if I stop trying to work on my own goals"
Why we have this misconception?
- This misunderstanding taps directly into the experience of FOMO- our fear of missing out. Competition can drive us to avoid any perception of falling behind or losing out to others. It can feel highly important to maintain “status points” that accumulate from how many markers of social worth we have e.g. beauty, thinness, wealth, class, education level etc. And we know for women in western society that the most valued status points lie in our appearance.
- We may be conditioned to only see certain attributes as being valuable such as beauty or thinness, because that’s what we were told growing up and susceptibility to social messaging but we may also have this misconception because we don’t recognise how exerting efforts in other directions may produce different results which don’t leave us behind, but just take us in a different direction.
What is a more balanced perspective?
- Body acceptance doesn’t stop you from working towards your fitness or health goals, in fact, it can offer you more longevity and commitment to working towards your health goals. But if your fitness or health goals are not conducive to your body’s capabilities or cause pain, then body acceptance can help you to refocus on modified goals that can offer you more longevity and commitment to your health.
- We’re all subject to societal pressures and there are many people who don’t necessarily have the healthiest fitness and weight goals, but because they align with the dominant message
- Achieving health and fitness is not a competition or race with others. The only person you are truly competing with is you and how you can be healthier in mind and body than the person you were a week, month or year ago. The person who is satisfied with how they’re meeting their goals over time will be far less concerned by losing or winning to others.
Key points
Resistance to body acceptance can arise from common misconceptions that can trigger threat signals in the body and perpetuate emotional resistance.
Some of the most common misunderstandings arise from not understanding what acceptance is or holding negative beliefs about what will happen if you accept or who is allowed to accept.
Body acceptance and body change are not mutually exclusive. They can be considered two sides of the same coin i.e. accepting your body requires change and changing your body requires acceptance.